“We Can Fight With Our Police” – Trevor Noah – (There’s A Gupta On My Stoep)

“We Can Fight With Our Police” – Trevor Noah – (There’s A Gupta On My Stoep)


You know one of the biggest things
we don’t appreciate in South Africa that I’ve learned to appreciate since moving to the US Is what a civil relationship
we have with our Police We can fight with our Police When they stop us With not one thought in your
head of losing your life That’s a luxury in America I
didn’t even think about that I just moved to the US to start
working on the Daily Show and One day I was driving and I got
pulled over by a policeman and I get pulled over by this policeman and being pulled over by the police
in America is a stressful experience because they make it a game show where you’ve got to try and figure out
what’s going on In South Africa it’s simple
straight to the point you get pulled over
the metro police comes there he tells you My friend you were speeding license, letter, letter,
letter, license plus no seat-belt
License then immediately
you’re in the game Ah come on man
come on Hey don’t come on nothing
here seat-belt man Letter, License
Letter, License busy driving here Schumacher, hey Yeah. now you’re in the game you know it’s time to talk
it’s time to work things out In America they don’t play that game Policeman walked up to the window
I was sitting in the car got up there good afternoon sir good afternoon Sir do you know why
I pulled you over? Shouldn’t you know why? why are you asking me?
No I don’t know I’m sorry what did you say? I said I don’t know
why you pulled me over I pulled you over sir
because you were speeding Oh okay I didn’t know do you know how fast
you were going sir? did you not check your
notes before you came? I feel like this is part of your job I’m
doing your job and my job at the same time sir are you giving me attitude? no I am not giving you attitude
I am just saying you can’t ask me why you stopped me and then
ask me how fast I was going next thing you are going to
ask me to write my own ticket sir are you giving me attitude? You gonna get
out this car right, now you giving me attitude and I was just talking to the guy and
I was like look man you can’t say here’s the craziest thing the cop said to me
He looked at me and he’s like sir I’ll tell you something you
were going a hundred miles an hour I was like a hundred miles an hour
how do you know that? Where is your, can
I see the thing he said what are you talking about I was like show me your gun Wow, no not that one, wow I want to see the laser gun
I want to see the speed He’s like I don’t need that sir I
estimated that you were going a hundred I was like
Estimated? what does a hundred look like? you can’t just estimate a hundred So he says I can look and I can estimate Dude that is a dangerous thing to do so you
just look and go that guy’s doing a hundred you can’t just estimate Imagine if I just did that with
you Like estimate standard 7 finished. you can’t just do that I’m sorry sir what did
you just say to me? I didn’t, look I am just saying that it’s not fair for you to like it’s
a weird experience with police there and my friend was in the passenger seat
he was shitting himself the whole time He was like Yo dude shut up
Yo dude shut up shut up Trevor
shut up Trevor you gonna get us killed
shut up Trevor I was like get us killed for what? why are we getting killed now? He’s like shut up Trevor
shut up Trevor I take that for granted because
in America you could get shot and you read stories
and you see stories of black Americans getting shot and that is true they get shot at a disproportional rate but white Americans also get
shot by the police all the time White police in America police in general in America are trigger happy
they don’t play games All races, police as a whole
shoot first, ask questions later There they are, “You!”
(shots fired) “Freeze!” “Did I get that order right?” we take for granted the
relationship we have here in America you read stories of people getting shot because
they pulled out their wallets in South Africa you’ll get shot because
you didn’t pull out your wallet. We are always talking that’s my favorite thing
about South African police is like you feel like you
are part of what’s happening You pull over
the cop comes there How are you Sir? I am fine, how are you? Hey, I’m fine, I’m
fine, I’m fine, hey I don’t know if you saw
here, let me just show you can you see here, check the numbers check the numbers,
see that one there? Top score. Yeah, see there.
Top score, hey. See that number there huh,
what does that number say? and you are like, 160.
160. (whistling) Hey, if it was pac man you
would have an extra life now Huh? 160 So, what are we doing now? Agh, malume, yeah,
what are we doing now? Agh, malume, I know my man, I know they feel your pain we are in this together I almost feel like we need
to send South African Police we need to send South
African Police to America just so that Americans
can learn what it’s like to have a functioning police force that’s not always
threatening to end your life you know? a police force where you can communicate where you can air your differences without fear of mortal retribution wouldn’t that be great to have
Americans in sticky situations? there they are at a standoff the police pull up
(Police siren) Alright, we are gonna hand you over we’ve got a Sargent Matabula here he’s a specialist from South Africa we’re gonna hand you over. Hello Hello Sir, how are you? Hey man, I ain’t coming out! Hey, hey, hey,
I am greeting you! I said, how are you? don’t just shout here, we are talking how are you? I am fine man,
that you very much for asking how are you? I am doing good thank you very much. okay, that’s going on here my brother? Look man, that shit you
all trying to pin on me it ain’t true man, I am innocent! Okay, so just come out and we can talk. No man, I know how this shit goes down! You all gonna kill me or I’m gonna
spend the rest of my life in jail! That’s not true, that’s not true just come out, we can talk I know what you all gonna do man! I got two options, I’m gonna die or I’m gonna spend my life in jail There’s another option it involves a cold drink. it doesn’t have to be this way.

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